You know, the good folks of my adoptive county are so full of themselves sometimes…'Appen today is Yorkshire Day.
Wednesday, 30th June, 2004
In an attempt to resurrect my stalled campaign to become a Man of Mystery and Adventure, yesterday I secreted a carrot in a special pocket in my new work suit. I then went about, letting people catch a glimpse of the carrot. When they asked, "Richard, why have you got a carrot in your pocket?", I gave assorted replies, such as:
- I bet you say that to all the boys
- OK, who told you I was carrying?
- it's a plant
- because there wasn't room in my sock
- because I've run out of celery
Carolyn was particularly impressed, when I rendezvoused with her outside a jewellers' shop:
"How many carats would you say that diamond is?" I asked.
"The label says 0.5."
"Pathetic! How many carats would you say that other diamond is?"
"It says 0.6."
"Feeble!" [Opening jacket] "And how many carrots would you say this is?"
"Did you just buy that specially to make that joke?"