var message = new Array(); message[0] = 'How do people who breed homing pigeons move house?'; message[1] = 'Did Adam and Eve have any daughters?'; message[2] = 'Why isn\'t there a single word to encapsulate the concept of le mot juste?'; message[3] = 'Could an omnipotent god construct a prison from which he/she/it was incapable of escaping?'; message[4] = 'Why is dyslexia such an awkward word to spell?'; message[5] = 'Why isn\'t phonetic spelt with an F?'; message[6] = 'If a tree falls on the only person in a forest, instantly killing them, at what point does the noise stop?'; message[7] = 'How do guide dogs know where their owners want to go?'; message[8] = 'Why do Christians, Moslems, Jews and Buddhists get capital letters, while atheists, heathens and agnostics do not?'; message[9] = 'Why did kamikazi pilots wear helmets?'; message[10] = 'Is there an easy way to remember the word mnemonic?'; message[11] = 'What did moths eat before they invented pullovers?'; message[12] = 'Where do snails go when it isn\'t raining?'; message[13] = 'Why is it a tea tray, but a coffee table?'; message[14] = 'Why is abbreviation such a long word?'; message[15] = 'Is there another word for synonym?'; message[16] = 'What was Fermat\'s penultimate theorem?
Tell me more »'; message[17] = 'Why do we say beheaded and not de-headed (or unheaded)?'; message[18] = 'If I run out of stationery requisition forms, how do I order some new ones?'; message[19] = 'How do snow plough drivers get to work?'; message[20] = 'What on earth did they do wrong in Gomorrah?'; message[21] = 'How do you plant a seedless grape?'; message[22] = 'Why do they call it your bottom, when it\'s actually in your middle?'; message[23] = 'How come you can get the lid off a tube of superglue?'; message[24] = 'How do they manage to stick Teflon™ to saucepans?'; message[25] = 'Why don\'t they make aircraft out of the same material as \'black box\' flight recorders?'; message[26] = 'Whatever happened to the Bermuda Triangle?'; message[27] = 'Why do green Penguin biscuits taste the best?'; message[28] = 'If English is considered to be the universal language, how come the posh term for a universal language is a lingua franca?'; message[29] = 'What was the best thing before sliced bread?'; message[30] = 'Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned nostalgia?'; message[31] = 'Why does sour cream have a sell by date?'; message[32] = 'Why do we say \'the alarm clock went off\', when it clearly came on?'; message[33] = 'Why do we say \'wound up\', when we actually \'wind round\'?'; message[34] = 'What do Germans call German measles? And the Dutch call Dutch courage?'; message[35] = 'Why can\'t you get canned bananas?'; message[36] = 'Why is it that a woman who stands up for her gender is called a feminist, but a man who stands up for his is a male chauvinist?'; message[37] = 'Who decided that dusters should be yellow?'; message[38] = 'Why don\'t they make ironing boards in the shape of shirts?'; message[39] = 'Why do they put stickers on fruit?'; message[40] = 'Do crabs think that people walk sideways?'; message[41] = 'How come Tarzan doesn\'t have a beard?'; message[42] = 'How come it\'s all right for rabbis and priests to work on the Sabbath?'; message[43] = 'Why don\'t you put a comma to separate the thousands from the hundreds in year numbers?'; message[44] = 'Why do they call it a \'near miss\', when it is actually a complete miss (or a near hit)?'; message[45] = 'If you strangled a smurf, what colour would its face go?'; message[46] = 'What were the Middle Ages in the middle of, and did the people who lived in them have a Middle Ages of their own?'; message[47] = 'Why do noses run and feet smell? Shouldn\'t it be the other way round?'; message[48] = 'Why can\'t you buy pineapple jelly (or Jello, as it\'s called in American)?'; message[49] = 'Over 5% of people in Borneo have more than the average number of legs.'; message[50] = 'Human males who have grown
beards at some point during their lives live longer than average for their sex.'; message[51] = '"The stars are matter,
And we are matter,
But it doesn\'t matter."
Captain Beefheart'; message[52] = '"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."
Groucho Marx'; message[53] = 'How come the Dalai Lama keeps getting reincarnated in Tibet? Why not Turkey or Tuva?'; message[54] = 'If killing a king is called regicide, what\'s it called when you kill someone named Reggie?'; message[55] = 'How do you solve a problem like Maria?'; message[56] = 'Who delivers storks\' babies?';