Students Learn Beauty Only Skin Deep

	A traditional image of feminine beauty

Scottish medical students at Edinburgh University yesterday learnt in the most gruesome way imaginable that beauty really is only skin deep.

"It was gross," said Alistair McIntosh, a 20-year-old undergraduate from Peebles. "Our tutor, Professor Duncan, got us to cut open this dead woman's head. It was full of all sorts of bone and gristle and gooey shit. I nearly pished my pants."

"It was like something out of my worst nightmares," said Morag McTavish, 21. "I mean, her eyes were full of this horrible thick, slimy liquid, and as for the nose... Well, I'd rather not say."

What the girlie mags don't show you

"I've had to split up with my girlfriend," complained Colin Campbell, 19. "I've spent the last three months trying to get inside her body, but, if that's the sort of surprise that awaits me, I'm staying well clear."

Professor Andrew Duncan defended his teaching techniques. "If these kids want to be surgeons, they're going to have to get their hands messy at some time of other," he said. "What did they expect? Nice, clean parts all nicely labelled? The human body is a complete mess inside. The sooner they realise that, the better."